Saturday, August 18, 2012

Alone at last!

Solitude.  A rare gift.

I am so happy that I am home.  Alone.  In peace and quiet.  Just me and the cats.  No kids.  No man.  No nothing except me and my own personal agenda.  I can't remember when the last time that happened was.

I.  So.  Need.  This.

I only wish I didn't have to work all day today and tomorrow.  I'd have much preferred (and really need) two entire days alone, but I had to work a weekend this month and this was really the only one that I could and not miss time with my boys.  Still, I had last night and this evening to myself.  No one to feed.  No one to pick up after or nag.  No one making noise.  No one to take anywhere. No one to talk to!  It's heavenly!

I've been productive!  Uninterrupted time is amazing for one's productivity!  I've crossed things off my to do list that have been there for YEARS!  Stupid, little but useful and ideally necessary things that keep getting pushed to the bottom of the list. I could do a happy dance!  I've made new lists, of course, as there is always more to do, but now there is a kid list, a house list, a wedding list, a shopping list and a ME LIST!  There is a also a priority oriented today list as my daily memory jogger.  Let's hope it works because at this rate, my dementia will be a significant impairment in a matter of months.

Today, I came home from work, having had a less than ideal day, and sat in the hot tub.  Sunshine on my face.  All by myself!  Stupid grin on my face.  A hummingbird happened by.  I delighted in watching it hover and zip about, stopping to partake of the nectar from the feeder a mere 3 feet from where I sat.  It made the faintest little chirp!  They are so fascinating to watch!  I also enjoyed watching the rabbits frolic in the yard and the other birds flying about the yard.  An all too rare opportunity to be IN nature and soak it up.  I love the wildlife and enjoy watching it.  It's something I rarely have or take time for.  I miss it.  Animals can teach us so much.  Oh, and hi Uncle Dino!  ;-)  As I write this I hear the night creatures singing and a pack of coyotes not too far off.  My cat is purring next to me.  Silence affords you the opportunity to really hear things.

I'm heading to bed soon.  Earlier than usual.  I plan to meditate and sleep peacefully in solitude.  I'm so excited I can hardly stand it!  Maybe I'll hear those messages I know I'm not paying attention to...

It's been too short lived.  By the time I return from work tomorrow, my fiance will have been returned from his bachelor party weekend.  My kids will return shortly after I do.  My solitude and peace will be no more.  But then, I am reminded there is balance.  Something I must work harder at.  I love my fiance.  I love my boys.  I love me and my sanity!  What I need to do is find ways to carve out more 'me' time, more solitude, more uninterrupted rejuvenate your spirit and soul time.  I am grateful for all of it.

It's funny.  Men plan the pre-wedding party that is non-stop fun and games and they all come home exhausted, but happy.  Women either have the traditional shower or a bachelorette party.  I think what I want is some soul nurturing.  Don't get me wrong.  A chocolate martini bar or a wine tasting with friends would be fantastic, but I need some 'me' nurturing with Reiki, chanting, readings, energy healing and a few hours alone would be heavenly!  I guess I need to figure out how to do that!  Perhaps it will come to me during my meditation.

Take some time for you.  We all forget to nurture our own souls.  It fills us up so we can cope with all that life throws our way.


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