The day the angels fell down

"Mommy, when the angel fall down?"

This was the question posed by my 3 year old son, the evening of his twin sister's funeral.  It was Christmas time, December 22nd, and we of course had an angel atop our tree.  That morning, she had fallen off the tree, so we fixed her up straight before we left the house for her funeral.  We didn't think anything else of it.

As we sat watching a TV show together that evening, he randomly asked about the angel.  Assuming he was referring to the morning, my response, of course, was to say, "Honey, the angel is not going to fall down.  We fixed it!"  He said, "Yes, mommy, the angel fall down." He was pretty insistent.  I figured he was tired.  The poor kid had been through so much.

In the morning, upon coming down stairs the very first thing I noticed was that the small angel on top of our mini Christmas tree in the kitchen was on the floor.  I blamed the cat for being mischievous and replaced her.  When we went into the playroom, the angel atop our tree was barely hanging on, tilted very sideways!  Can't blame that one on the cat.  There was really no explanation for it.  Then it hit me.  He was right!  He knew the angel was going to fall down again!  I got my son and showed him.  He smiled.  I asked him how he knew.  He just looked at me and smiled, as if to say "Why didn't YOU Know?"  We put her back on the tree.

Later that evening, an angel I had received a day or two earlier, that was held by a suction cup to my bedroom window was found to be on the windowsill.  The suction cup still adhered to the window!  By the time I found that one, I actually laughed out loud.  I finally got it.  The angels were falling down.  My son knew it was going to happen before it did.  A sign?  Think what you will.  I don't for a minute believe it was only coincidence that nearly every angel in our house fell that day.  Do you?

A rather perfect snow angel, don't you think?

The next day he gleefully played with his sister.  Saying "Oh, Geggie, look!" and then looking at us as if he realized we didn't see her and that he was the only one who could.  He excitedly said he saw her many times in the months that followed, pointing her out with absolute certainty in his voice.  I wish he remembered now what he saw and knew then...

On Christmas night, I remember talking to my older son about Meggie and Heaven and spirit.  He asked if she could see us.  I said yes, I believe so.  He asked if she could see the children in India.  I said yes, I'm sure she can, although I also wondered why a 6 year old child was asking about children in India of all places.  He was on a bit of a geography kick with a Leapfrog toy he'd gotten, so it wasn't so bizarre, but still.  He asked if she knew when bad things were going to happen. I said I don't know, maybe.  He asked if she could stop them from happening.  I said I don't know, probably not, but she could probably help people through it.  I tried to reassure him she was looking out for all of us as our own personal guardian angel.

The next day, December 26th, we woke to the news of the massive Indian Ocean earthquake and Tsunami! Twice in one week, my boys seemed to predict the next day's events.  How did he know? One in our own home, another on the other side of the world!  I was a bit mindboggled.  He again asked if Meggie would be able to be with the children who died in the tsunami.  Yes, yes she would.  I bet she is already there playing with them and their kitties in Heaven I told him.  He seemed to like that answer.

Meg's twin brother coloring, with pink, in her Land Before Time Coloring Book

the day after she died

" Meggie in the Clouds"

Earlier that week, on December 20th, 2 days after her death, her twin did his first finger painting.  It was a landscape.  He was sitting at the kitchen table with my father.  There was a sun and some clouds.  Blue, brown and oranges dominated.  He pointed to a spot in the 'sky' of  his picture and completely on his own, without being asked, said "Meggie there.  In the clouds."  As if to tell us, duh, don't you get it?  She's an angel now!

There were other signs that week.  They began the night she died as I lay awake in emotional agony.  Her twin in bed between my husband and I.  He was asleep and then suddenly opened his eyes, sat up, took my husband's face in his (just like Meghan used to do, but he had never done) and softly patted his face and gently said "It's ok daddy."  I swear it was Meghan's voice, her words, not his.  He closed his eyes and fell asleep as quickly as he had woken.  It was as if he wasn't really even awake, but channeling her.   When I finally dozed off for all of about a half hour in the wee hours of the morning, I woke to see my grandmother and Meghan floating above my bed.  I literally shook my head and thought I was dreaming.  I remember smiling again, realizing Gram really was taking good care of her.  I felt a sense of calm and gratitude.  I wanted them to stay forever and talk to me, but they were gone almost as quickly as I saw them.  I still don't know if I was really awake or in an another space and time, but I saw them.  They looked so... real.  It brought me some comfort.

So when people ask me about signs, I say yes.  I've gotten signs.  Many of them.  I believe in them.  I can't always explain them scientifically, but I've no doubt we live on in spirit and can find ways to communicate.  In that first week after she died, I received many signs.  There were many, many more to come.  They've taught me volumes.  I don't believe in coincidence.

It was the start of a spiritual journey that has opened my eyes to my own spiritual gifts and has led me to who and where I am today.  That, however, is a story to tell another day.

Know this.  Twinship transcends death.  Love transcends all.