Monday, January 7, 2013

The day the angels fell down

"Mommy, when the angel fall down?"

This was the question posed by my 3 year old son, the evening of his twin sister's funeral.  It was Christmas time, December 22nd, and we of course had an angel atop our tree.  That morning, she had fallen off the tree, so we fixed her up straight before we left the house for her funeral.  We didn't think anything else of it.

As we sat watching a TV show together that evening, he randomly asked about the angel.  Assuming he was referring to the morning, my response, of course, was to say, "Honey, the angel is not going to fall down.  We fixed it!"  He said, "Yes, mommy, the angel fall down." He was pretty insistent.  I figured he was tired.  The poor kid had been through so much.

In the morning, upon coming down stairs the very first thing I noticed was that the small angel on top of our mini Christmas tree in the kitchen was on the floor.  I blamed the cat for being mischievous and replaced her.  When we went into the playroom, the angel atop our tree was barely hanging on, tilted very sideways!  Can't blame that one on the cat.  There was really no explanation for it.  Then it hit me.  He was right!  He knew the angel was going to fall down again!  I got my son and showed him.  He smiled.  I asked him how he knew.  He just looked at me and smiled, as if to say "Why didn't YOU Know?"  We put her back on the tree.

Later that evening, an angel I had received a day or two earlier, that was held by a suction cup to my bedroom window was found to be on the windowsill.  The suction cup still adhered to the window!  By the time I found that one, I actually laughed out loud.  I finally got it.  The angels were falling down.  My son knew it was going to happen before it did.  A sign?  Think what you will.  I don't for a minute believe it was only coincidence that nearly every angel in our house fell that day.  Do you?

A rather perfect snow angel, don't you think?

The next day he gleefully played with his sister.  Saying "Oh, Geggie, look!" and then looking at us as if he realized we didn't see her and that he was the only one who could.  He excitedly said he saw her many times in the months that followed, pointing her out with absolute certainty in his voice.  I wish he remembered now what he saw and knew then...

On Christmas night, I remember talking to my older son about Meggie and Heaven and spirit.  He asked if she could see us.  I said yes, I believe so.  He asked if she could see the children in India.  I said yes, I'm sure she can, although I also wondered why a 6 year old child was asking about children in India of all places.  He was on a bit of a geography kick with a Leapfrog toy he'd gotten, so it wasn't so bizarre, but still.  He asked if she knew when bad things were going to happen. I said I don't know, maybe.  He asked if she could stop them from happening.  I said I don't know, probably not, but she could probably help people through it.  I tried to reassure him she was looking out for all of us as our own personal guardian angel.

The next day, December 26th, we woke to the news of the massive Indian Ocean earthquake and Tsunami! Twice in one week, my boys seemed to predict the next day's events.  How did he know? One in our own home, another on the other side of the world!  I was a bit mindboggled.  He again asked if Meggie would be able to be with the children who died in the tsunami.  Yes, yes she would.  I bet she is already there playing with them and their kitties in Heaven I told him.  He seemed to like that answer.

Meg's twin brother coloring, with pink, in her Land Before Time Coloring Book
the day after she died

" Meggie in the Clouds"

Earlier that week, on December 20th, 2 days after her death, her twin did his first finger painting.  It was a landscape.  He was sitting at the kitchen table with my father.  There was a sun and some clouds.  Blue, brown and oranges dominated.  He pointed to a spot in the 'sky' of  his picture and completely on his own, without being asked, said "Meggie there.  In the clouds."  As if to tell us, duh, don't you get it?  She's an angel now!

There were other signs that week.  They began the night she died as I lay awake in emotional agony.  Her twin in bed between my husband and I.  He was asleep and then suddenly opened his eyes, sat up, took my husband's face in his (just like Meghan used to do, but he had never done) and softly patted his face and gently said "It's ok daddy."  I swear it was Meghan's voice, her words, not his.  He closed his eyes and fell asleep as quickly as he had woken.  It was as if he wasn't really even awake, but channeling her.   When I finally dozed off for all of about a half hour in the wee hours of the morning, I woke to see my grandmother and Meghan floating above my bed.  I literally shook my head and thought I was dreaming.  I remember smiling again, realizing Gram really was taking good care of her.  I felt a sense of calm and gratitude.  I wanted them to stay forever and talk to me, but they were gone almost as quickly as I saw them.  I still don't know if I was really awake or in an another space and time, but I saw them.  They looked so... real.  It brought me some comfort.

So when people ask me about signs, I say yes.  I've gotten signs.  Many of them.  I believe in them.  I can't always explain them scientifically, but I've no doubt we live on in spirit and can find ways to communicate.  In that first week after she died, I received many signs.  There were many, many more to come.  They've taught me volumes.  I don't believe in coincidence.

It was the start of a spiritual journey that has opened my eyes to my own spiritual gifts and has led me to who and where I am today.  That, however, is a story to tell another day.

Know this.  Twinship transcends death.  Love transcends all.


  1. What a great post. I am a new reader and am so glad I have found you! I have lived in southern California my whole life and we have always been told to anchor our furniture due to earthquakes. I am 38 yrs old with 4 children and am ashamed to say that I have never done it! Thanks to you and Meggie for waking me up!!!

  2. We have gotten signs the past 6 weeks too from my 14 year old nephew. Some are subtle and I believe you have to look for them. When my dad passed away 2 years ago I grieved heavily. I couldn't imagine never talking to him again and would litterally say outloud for him to send me signs he is ok. I got a few.. The first was the day he died. I was in the car driving to my mom's home an hour away to prepare for the stampede of family and friends that would be there and not doing well at all. He had been gone about 4 or 5 hours. My husband was driving and the song Daddy's Hands came on the radio by Holly Dunn. Now I have probably heard this song but it has never hit me as being anything to remember or even really like it. I mean the song is OLD and they played it on a current station. I had to make my husband turn it because I couldn't bare listening to it. But it stuck with me. I asked for it to be played at the funeral. The lyrics say...Daddy's hands were hard as steel when I'd done wrong
    Daddy's hands weren't always gentle but I've come to understand
    There was always love in daddy's hands. I find this song humerous in a way. My dad was a welder. :) He held and cut steel his whole life. It's a sign. I have heard this song 15 or more times in the past 2.5 years. It gives me comfort every time I hear it. I have been crying in the car and would you believe it comes on? It's a sign. :)

    The second was on my son's 12th bday just 11 months after he died. I cried because he wasn't here and I knew he would have called that day. I cried the whole way taking my son to school. My Dad and I had this 'water' connection. Literally between the 2 of us we have had a dozen water leaks or spills. LONG story! But we have both had washer, dishwasther, bathtub....leaky roof... The list is enourmous. Just he and I have this connection and have laughed about it for years! I open my back door after dropping my son off and I was still having a hard time....but I walk in to find my washer hose leaking all over my laundry room. :) It was only on for a year because we had moved the previous year and it was a new hose. It was a sign. :)

    The last obvious sign I got was just 1 month later and on the anniversary of his death...1 year anniversary. I looked up at this particular photo on a shelf above my desk every morning of he and my mom. I loved that picture and stared at it all the time. This morning I sit down at my computer and look up like I always do and the picture was turned over. It didn't happen by itself. That picture was on a built in shelf...the shelf can't move. I knew he was giving me a sign.

    With my nephew in just the few short weeks...

    My sister has had lights go out in the bathroom where he showered and left the heat lamp on every morning and she would have to holler at him to turn it off (in the warm months).

    The DVR has gone out 2 times....she was always on his case to quit recording all his programs. And one week after he died a program started recording. It was one he had her mind she said I wished that dang thing would break. The next day it was. And they replaced it and it is broke again. :)

    My niece is a senior and they had ordered her senior ring and hoped it would come the day of the funeral. They live in a TINY town and UPS and FED EX do not run at night. LATE the night after the funeral around 8 pm the Fed EX truck rang the doorbell and said...late night delivery... They didn't work late nights! We all felt like it was a sign that he wanted her to know he was with her the day she buried her brother.

    I feel like I am winded on your blog!! lol But I love signs...I do believe we have angels among us... I hope we keep getting these signs so we can survive this life without them. It gives me hope to see them again.

  3. Thank you for sharing, Jennifer. So glad you are able to notice these little gifts from the other side!

  4. I think your blog is beautiful and so well written. I am so sorry for your loss.As a mother I couldn't read it without bawling like a baby.I wanted to let you know that I work at a large rental chain and after reading your blog yesterday I returned to work today and wrote an email to corporate.We deliver a ton of bedroom sets and I have never given much thought to anchoring the dressers up until now.Corporate returned my call almost immediately to tell me my email was being passed upstairs to the big bosses.My understanding is that they are going to try to institute a program to educate our customers on this tragedy.I just wanted you to know your little girl is going to be ensuring the safety of many other children.
    Love,Peace, and Prayers

    1. Thank you so much, Michelle! Let me know how it goes!

  5. On the 1 year anniversary of our little girl's funeral we had gone away to the beach but had brought Emily's picture with us. As it sat on the dresser I began to talk to her. My husband and daughter were in the pool and I told Emily how I wish she were here with us. I asked her to let me know she was ok and knew how much we loved and missed her. I actually asked her to just move a little in the picture....I know it sounds crazy but I so wanted her to do it. Of course, nothing happened. I told her it was ok. I knew she was all around us. I stood up to go down to the pool and the picture frame fell over. Just like that I knew she was there and always would be.

  6. Hullo again. Lovely snow Angel. The words explaining the "Meggie in the sky" photo were beautiful.

    I also seem to predict things. One day I got told I had to travel to a different store for work, was about forty mins in a car.
    So work called us a taxi, and I was inssistant that the two colleagues with me wore seat belts. About half way there I got very frightened. I told driver get off this road NOW. Somethings about to happen. He thought I was weird but gave in and got off the motorway. I was muttering oh I hope it's not fatal. Again they all thought I was just weird. When we arrived I heard straight away about a fatal crash involving a coach/bus at the junction I'd forced I driver to avoid. We would have been there at the exact wrong time. It freaked me out a bit!

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