Monday, February 10, 2014

Wishful dreaming?

They say our dreams are where we 'work out' our real life issues or even past life issues.  It's where our brain processes what it cannot when we are conscious.  Our 'thinking' brain is turned off when we sleep. our subconscious takes over.  When we remember our dreams, they can give us clues or even solutions to our day to day problems and questions.

Ever have really vivid dreams that you could swear were real?  Until you wake up and realize that they were not?  There is a message in those dreams for you.  About you.  Your beliefs.  Your life's purpose.  The things you need to 'work out' in your life.  It's a clue to help us heal and grow as humans.

Ever have those life-like dreams about the same people or certain people?  Ever wish they were real, because they seem very real and the story that plays out is one of an outcome you'd like to achieve in 'real life'?

I do.  Not all the time, at least that I can remember, but it fascinates me when they tend to occur.  Last nite being no exception.  Yet it was completely unexpected.  At least in my conscious mind.

Almost 8 years ago, my best friend of more than 20 years and I had a very traumatic break up.   We were both in crisis for different reasons and had been drifting apart.  We were both lost in our own pain and emotional turmoil and, for different reasons, unable to see the forest through the trees. It tore at our relationship. We made choices that made sense at the time.  One of them was to end our relationship on a physical level. We agreed to walk away from each other and from our friendship.  It was not with love though.  It ended badly and with open wounds, misinformation, incorrect assumptions, and misguided judgment.  Negative energy hung between us. We failed to recognize WHY we were where we were in our lives and in our relationship with each other.  We assigned a human label and 'reason' for it because it was easy. It was too painful and overwhelming to go deeper and do the 'work', so we just walked away.  Issues unresolved.  We both had 'work' to do to heal ourselves and our situations.  In doing so (or choosing not to do so), we are where we are.  Neither of us really knowing what or where that is for the other person.  I think we both thought we'd find that healing and find our way back to friendship but maybe that was just me...

We do run in similar circles.  So there is a nebulous awareness of how the other is doing.

The thing is, our spirits seem to be not willing or able to let it go.  Our spiritual bodies know our work together is not yet done, but our physical and mental bodies are not there yet.  Maybe they never will be in this lifetime, but that's something only time will tell.  Our physical bodies and our emotional bodies need to come back to the table.  The energy begs of it.

How do I know this?  Because I have these recurring dreams.  About us.  Not often, maybe once or twice a year.  I had one last night.  Quite unexpectedly.  I did not go to bed thinking of her.  In fact, she was not on my mind at all.  That's one of the interesting things.

They all have the same theme.  It's like watching a movie.  The setting may vary, but the characters are always the same.  The premise is always the same.  The 'remote viewing' is always the same.  It's as if our spiritual bodies are floating together, above our physical bodies, watching, talking, communicating, encouraging our physical bodies to do the same.

Our physical bodies are just that.  In a 'real' world setting. Often, it's an outdoor venue like a park. Last night, it was a store.  It was late, we were both shopping and bumped into each other in the same aisle. Some friends who were with us were encouraging us to speak to each other after just happening to be in the same place at the same time unexpectedly, and others encouraging us to just walk away, feeding into the old, incorrect information and stagnant negative energy.

The prevailing energy I sensed was that we wanted to be friendly, reach out to each other, to talk, but were resistant.  Maybe because we were not alone.  Maybe because we were afraid.  Maybe because it would be hard and we didn't have the time.  I didn't want to pursue it first.  I had been asked not to all those years ago, and I was trying to respect that, yet I desperately wanted to.  She wanted to reach out, but was afraid. All the while, our spiritual selves were having the healing conversation we have long needed to have.  At least, we began to.

Then, I woke up.  I had a smile on my face.  I thought, for a moment, it was real.  I thought I was there, we were there. That we were talking.  We were healing. We were having the much needed conversation the Universe is waiting for us to finish.  Except it wasn't real. I was in bed. We were not in a store.  We were not anywhere near each other.  It was a dream.

Or was it?

I wonder what her dreams were of last night.  I wonder if she, too, has ever had a similar dream.  I wonder if our spirits really do sometimes get together while we sleep and try to work out our 'issues'.  I wonder if her awareness is peaked the same time mine is.

I wondered why this happened last night of all nights.  Then, I looked at the calendar.  Today is her birthday. A day I celebrated with her and for her most of my adult life.  We always had such silly good fun. I hope she gets her favorite cake and feels loved and appreciated.  I can still send love and light and healing, even if she has blocked my energy.

Intention creates your reality.

I don't know if we'll ever get the chance to finish our work together on earth in this lifetime.  I don't know if we'll ever talk and start to heal our relationship, dispel the myths and incorrect beliefs and if not re-establish our friendship, or at least be able to heal the past, separately and together, so as not to carry the energetic burden of it any longer.  I am ready, willing, and able.  I am just waiting. Patiently.

I miss her.

Maybe that's why I had that wishful dream.  Or, maybe, it wasn't a dream after all...

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