Monday, April 22, 2013

A to Z Challenge: F is for Forgiveness

Talk about an "F" word.  No, not that one.  The metaphysical F word is forgiveness. 

To start, I am forgiving myself for forgetting to publish this post in proper order. :-)  I thought I did.  Apparently, I did not.  I trust there is a reason for that...

Forgiveness is one of those things that sounds so simple and easy, and yet is so hard for so many.  It holds so many people hostage, by their own choosing.  It's very, very difficult to move forward in your life and certainly on your spiritual journey without truly practicing the art of forgiveness. 

This is often easier said than done.  To say "I forgive you" is one thing.  To actually let go of the emotional baggage associated with those words is often much harder.  We tend to harbor resentment, anger, frustration, and conflict in our hearts.  It manifests emotionally, verbally and energetically, especially when in direct contact with the person whom you need to truly forgive. 

Often times it is someone who has hurt us deeply, intentionally or not.  It might be an ex-lover, a friend, a co-worker or boss or even someone you hardly know yet they did or said something that set you off.  Sometimes, it's not someone else, but ourselves, who we need to forgive.  We often feel guilty about something we said or did, or didn't say or didn't do.  We carry it around with us and in our energy fields forever, until we truly let it go. We hound ourselves with thoughts of  "I can't believe I did/said that" or "If only I...".  Whether we realize it or not, it impacts us.  It negatively impacts our self-esteem, our clarity of thought and can literally drain our energy, making us feel tired, irritable.  Physical symptoms like headaches or body aches can actually be manifestations of emotions that are held in our bodies that need to be released.

I have an intimate relationship with forgiveness.  I know it's something I have to work on.  We all do.  I think we all have someone or something in our lives that we need to forgive.  I can think of several and one particularly significant and difficult for me.  It may be something small or it may be huge.  There may be many things you need to let go of and forgive. The size of the issue or number of issues matter far less than the act of forgiveness for it/them. 

Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to condone their actions or choices. It just means you are letting go of the cords that bind you to it energetically so you can move on.  If you don't, you end up stuck in a pattern and an energy that weighs you down.  

If you can't say "I forgive you" to them directly, do it indirectly.  The release of the resentment is what is important.  Some ways you can do this are:

 ~ Write down each person or thing you need to forgive.  Be specific.  Write the reasons you harbor resentment. Why you felt the way you did.  Then write the words "I forgive you for..." and be specific about what you are forgiving. Thank the person or situation for the lessons you received.

~  Call them or talk to them in person, doing the same thing recommended above.  Or write them a letter if you don't feel you can do it 'live'.  They may have no idea you needed to forgive them!  

~ If you write it down, you can then place it in a 'forgiveness box', burn it, shred it or otherwise energetically transmute it.  

~  Meditate on it.  Visualize the person/situation, visualize your act of forgiveness, send white light and love to all involved, feel the healing energy as you literally cut all cords and attachments to the negative feelings and feel them replaced with universal love

~  Realize sometimes, because buttons get pushed and triggers can re-occur, you may need to practice the act of forgiveness more than once

Don't wait for the 'right time'.  That time is now.  Far too many people wait for the right time.  Far too many more wait until they are literally on their death bed to ask for and grant forgiveness.  

Know that only once you can actively forgive and bring forth positive energy will the Universe respond in kind.  It's the law of attraction.  Love begets love.  Resentment and fear beget resentment and fear.  Forgiveness begets forgiveness.  

The two most powerful phrases in our language are "I forgive you" and "I love you".  Use them.  Often.  You will be happier and healthier for it. 

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